Sex 101

Orgasm or Not?

Cherlene — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:12:00 -0800

Chances are that if you’ve been in a relationship, and you’re a woman, you’ve probably faked an orgasm. But did you know that men fake them too?

The research that brings us this important sexual discovery was conducted at the University of Kansas on 180 male and 101 female college students. The students completed an anonymous survey about their sexual habits.

Not surprisingly, some of the college students were still virgins - 15 percent of men and 32 percent of women surveyed had not yet had intercourse.

Of the students who had had sex, nearly 30 percent of men reported faking an orgasm, compared to 67 percent of women. Some of the participants admitted they also faked orgasm not only during regular sex, but during oral sex, manual stimulation and phone sex as well. The 67 percent number is comparable to past research, that has reported a similar percentage among women.

So why do we do it? Why fake an orgasm during intimacy, a time when you’d think we be putting our social masks aside?

The researchers asked these college students that question, and the most frequently reported reasons were:

Orgasm was unlikely. - Sometimes it’s just not going to happen, and although this seems to be a more common issue amongst women, it can also happen with men. Especially if alcohol is involved.
They wanted sex to end. - Closely linked to an orgasm is unlikely, sometimes a partner will want to keep having sex until their partner finishes. A fake orgasm brings sex to an end quickly.
They wanted to avoid negative consequences. - Most people don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings, and that’s no more the case than with our romantic partner. A fake orgasm avoids the negative consequences of having another person feel badly that they didn’t perform “well enough” to bring the other person to climax.
They wanted to please their partner. - Faking an orgasm shows that you care about your partner’s feelings of performance and self-esteem. Or so said the people who filled out the survey.

Why would an orgasm be unlikely or why would one want sex to end more quickly? Well, sometimes we’re not always in the same place sexually as our partner. So we agree to sex because we feel guilty or to put an end to the nagging. Or perhaps we agreed to have sex to help relieve stress, only to find it didn’t quite help in the way we had hoped. An orgasm is unlikely if your partner is stressed, not turned on, feels tired, or is put off by you or the relationship in some way. A faked orgasm during such times helps end the sex more quickly, without making your partner feel bad.

The researchers found that the responses suggested a sexual “script” that most of us follow, or would like to follow. Boy meets girl, girl takes boy to bed, girl has an orgasm before the boy. And the boy is response for the girl’s orgasm (although not as much, vice-a-versa). Faking an orgasm is a predictable response to this set of expectations, to ensure the “script” goes as smoothly as possible.
HAVE YOU EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?

Poll: What's Your Pubic Hair Style

Venus1 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:53:59 -0800

I posted this in Group Therapy and It has been suggested that I posted this on the wrong part of the site and it should be here instead. I’m not sure how to move things so if you would like to take par and vote on your style or comment, click on the link below.
http://group-therapy.tressugar.com/5889220

Confessions of a $ugar Baby: My First Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby Date

erinlk — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 08:50:40 -0700

new-sugar-baby.blogspot.com

Realtionships + Love

mally259 — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 11:52:41 -0700

I'm working with 3 other lovely ladies on a book that is being published next Spring by Seal Press Publishing. 'The Choice Effect' as it's called looks at the current generation of twenty- and thirty-something women who have all the amazing options in the world and can't decide between them. The book focuses on relationships, and why it's so daunting for women to commit to a partner and get married. We attribute this indecision to all the other glittery options out there competing for our attention - friends, professional success, all the men in the world you haven't yet dated.Anyways, we need your help; we need to hear from real women. We have a short, 10-question survey about love + realtionships. We would love to hear your voice.Click Here: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=xIggXHlbQxXsLzpzQxKi3A_3d_3d

Caffe Swimwear - Runway - MBFW Miami Swim 2010

Shahrzaad — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:47:52 -0700

View Slideshow ›

Wilder Sex Increases Fertility

Carolyn20 — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:44:49 -0700

Have you been trying to get pregnant, but it just won't happen?

New studies show that if you and your partner take the time to truly satisfy one another it increases the chances of conception.
Sperm count shoots through the roof (so to speak) when men are insanely aroused -- "an extra five minutes of sexual activity before ejaculation can produce an extra 25 million sperm" -- Dr. Allan Pacey, secretary of the British Fertility Society.

But it's not ALL about the guy, ladies, as having an orgasm during intercourse is extremely helpful in achieving your goal.

To learn more about what scientists are calling "gourmet sex", check out http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Have_Wilder_Sex_to_Increase_Fer...

The "psych" in semen

pinkprawn — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:32:41 -0700

My post on mind control properties in semen still attracts a disturbing amount of attention. So to appease your curiosity -- and, I'll admit it, mine -- I've decided to do a little more investigation into the compounds in semen that may pass through the vagina and be absorbed in the bloodstream. Some may have an indirect effect on the recipient's hormones. A few may breach the blood-brain barrier, directly influencing mood and sex drive. Several, but not all, of the chemicals have been studied and proven to pass through the vaginal walls. From an evolutionary perspective, mood-modulating components in semen may give a woman an incentive to be in a committed relationship with regular, frequent sex. Apparently, the goo is bonding.

The information below comes from SUNY Albany evolutionary psychologists Gordon Gallup and Rebecca Burch, whose fascinating study on semen and depression I describe in BLONDES. Gallup and Burch wrote a chapter, "The psychobiology of human semen," published in a compilation of research on sexuality. What they describe, I think, is fascinating.

A few prominent, potential mind-altering ingredients in sperm:

Luteinizing hormone: astounding concentration in semen; linked to high sperm count and motility. Absorption into female bloodstream may facilitate or even induce ovulation.

Prolactin: influences maternal behavior, oxytocin secretion; mediates bonding

Estrone and estradiol: assists in recipient's absorption of other compounds such as progesterone; may boost woman's sexual motivation and mood

Testosterone: may increase sex drive and motivation; the more intercourse, the higher the testosterone levels in women, and the stronger the sexual desire. More than half the amount of testosterone in sperm has been found to be absorbed by the vagina.

Cytokines: these are the "warriors," they suppress immune reaction to semen invading the vagina and cervix and therefore increase likelihood of pregnancy

Enkephalins: these opioids that may contribute to orgasmic experience. They may decrease anxiety and cause drowsiness after sex. There's also speculation that they assist in immune function and "reinforcing effects" -- making a woman come back for more, i.e. addiction (although the absorption rate in female bloodstream is unknown)

Oxytocin: assists in stimulation of ovulation, increases production of other hormones, initiates bonding, facilitates orgasmic contractions; may strengthen bonding and make sexual activity more rewarding

Placental proteins, including human chorionic gonadotrophin (hcg) and human placental lactogen: associated with sperm motility; may increase chances of pregnancy

Relaxin: made in the prostate, this hormone may facilitate fertilization, implantation, and uterine growth. The role of relaxin suggests that women should keep having a lot of sex during pregnancy because sperm has pregnancy-maintaining properties. Relaxin also facilitates implantation and prevents preterm labor.

Thyrotropin-releasing hormones: potential as an anti-depressive by stimulating the release of thyroid-stimulating hormone, which triggers hormone production by the mood-mediating thyroid gland. In pill form, it's used to treat PMS and depression.

Serotonin: increases sperm motilit. It also mediates mood, although not much known yet about vaginal absorption. Even if it doesn't make it to the brain, it may indirectly alter behavior and emotions by contributing the building blocks of serotonin

Melatonin: increases effects of steroid hormones; induces sleepiness and fatigue, which may help the woman relax after sex; may stimulate reproductive function, also mood mediator; low melatonin levels are associated with depression and "reality disturbance"

Tyrosine: a precursor of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, the hormone of reward and addiction, and norepinephrine, involved in attention and arousal

Oh, and there's also sperm in there, the DNA-bearing courier. Sperm is less than 3 percent the total volume of semen. But as it turns out, the bath water is nearly as important as the baby.

n.b. Although not yet studied, researchers suspect that these chemicals in semen may also enter the bloodstream through mucous membranes when having oral and anal sex. If so, straight women aren't the only lucky recipients.

HELP!! really scared!!

sweetbutscared — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:44:38 -0800

I am 16 years old, and my period started since I've been 11..
on feb 17th, my boyfriend and i met and, well, his genital and mine touched each other.. it happened about twice. after that, we met on the 24th, and it happened, but jus once. Just about touched, not more. My periods are around january 29th, but for this month, it hasn't happened yet..I am reeally wooried, my parents are really strict! They'd kill me if they found ouT!! Is there any way I can just relieve myself??I can't get a pregnancy test or anything. Is there any way to just find out for yourself tht i'm not pregnant???
REALLY worried!! please please help !!!

HELP!! I Forgot to take my pill last night and then 2 nights ago the same thing!

christy82091 — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:23:15 -0800

I've been so busy and stressed lately that i forgot to take my pill last night and then it happend a few days ago. I need to know how bad this is. Me and my boyfriend had sex over the weekend and when we did we didnt use condoms either time. HELP. im kinda scared. Please no rude comments this is an honest post. I just am wondering what to do and if im at high risk for pregnancy. I'm 2 week and 2 days into my pill packet so right in the middle, i dont know if that is important or not but i figured i would add it. PLEASE HELP!

Where are the hot guys?

Myst — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:51:23 -0800

I love to travel. I like to take a couple of major trips a few times a year whenever I can and still plan on to when I'm old and surviving on an oxygen tanks. Besides visiting new and exciting places, one of the things I like the most, is to look at hot guys where ever I go, I can't help it, I've always been guy crazy.

So here's a list my top list of places that I've meet some pretty hot guys... in no particular order.

1. Italy.. my goodness it's like they're bred to be gorgeous there.
2. Sweden.. Hot Nordic men, enough said.
3. S. Korea.. Hot Asian guys galore...no seriously, if you find Asian men highly attractive like I do, S. Korea is the place to go.
4. New York City, with over 4 million people and it's cultural diversity.. it's like every street I've walked I would meet a cutie.
5. Hong Kong & Tokyo, again, hot guys galore.. although most have been a bit on the shorter side for my tastes.
6. Vancouver & Seattle..... the men there are yummy
7. Amsterdam & Russia...too hot.. just too hot.
8. S. Carolina.. Hot southern men galore.
9. Martinique.. yummy Island goodness.
10. France & Spain...Hot accents, hot bodies, what else do you need.

So what's places are on your list?