Chances are that if you’ve been in a relationship, and you’re a woman, you’ve probably faked an orgasm. But did you know that men fake them too?
The research that brings us this important sexual discovery was conducted at the University of Kansas on 180 male and 101 female college students. The students completed an anonymous survey about their sexual habits.
Not surprisingly, some of the college students were still virgins — 15 percent of men and 32 percent of women surveyed had not yet had intercourse.
Of the students who had had sex, nearly 30 percent of men reported faking an orgasm, compared to 67 percent of women. Some of the participants admitted they also faked orgasm not only during regular sex, but during oral sex, manual stimulation and phone sex as well. The 67 percent number is comparable to past research, that has reported a similar percentage among women.
So why do we do it? Why fake an orgasm during intimacy, a time when you’d think we be putting our social masks aside?
The researchers asked these college students that question, and the most frequently reported reasons were:
- Orgasm was unlikely. — Sometimes it’s just not going to happen, and although this seems to be a more common issue amongst women, it can also happen with men. Especially if alcohol is involved.
- They wanted sex to end. — Closely linked to an orgasm is unlikely, sometimes a partner will want to keep having sex until their partner finishes. A fake orgasm brings sex to an end quickly.
- They wanted to avoid negative consequences. — Most people don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings, and that’s no more the case than with our romantic partner. A fake orgasm avoids the negative consequences of having another person feel badly that they didn’t perform “well enough” to bring the other person to climax.
- They wanted to please their partner. — Faking an orgasm shows that you care about your partner’s feelings of performance and self-esteem. Or so said the people who filled out the survey.
Why would an orgasm be unlikely or why would one want sex to end more quickly? Well, sometimes we’re not always in the same place sexually as our partner. So we agree to sex because we feel guilty or to put an end to the nagging. Or perhaps we agreed to have sex to help relieve stress, only to find it didn’t quite help in the way we had hoped. An orgasm is unlikely if your partner is stressed, not turned on, feels tired, or is put off by you or the relationship in some way. A faked orgasm during such times helps end the sex more quickly, without making your partner feel bad.
The researchers found that the responses suggested a sexual “script” that most of us follow, or would like to follow. Boy meets girl, girl takes boy to bed, girl has an orgasm before the boy. And the boy is response for the girl’s orgasm (although not as much, vice-a-versa). Faking an orgasm is a predictable response to this set of expectations, to ensure the “script” goes as smoothly as possible.
HAVE YOU EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Panache
I have never faked and I hope (and think) I have never been with a man who faked (or another woman for that matter, although experience is more limited there) either!
I usually climax from oral or other stimulation but not from penetration alone. Most of the time I climax without difficulty although it can be less satisfying if you find that you "let go" to soon. However, once in a while, for what ever reason things just don't work. Regardless of this, I still get some (albeit less) satisfaction from the sex when this happens.
1The numbers are 67% of women faking orgasms.
I guess I have fallen into the I'm so
tired I'll fake it to get some sleep once or twice. But, not often! 
2The other thing not mentioned here is what I call the "Low Power orgasm". Somehow you are not quite built up enough and you let go. You climax but the extra punch and those extra after ripples are not there. Satsisfying, yes but not the big wow!
3No but I've faked pleasure.
4I faked them while I was with my high school boyfriend because I didn't really know how to instruct a man to please me yet and I cared about him and wanted him to think he was a stud. Now that I've got a bit more experience, I realize he just wasn't good at all. I confided in a couple of close friends that I thought he might be gay... I had nothing to compare to at the time but I suspected it when he started making train sound effects once when we were in bed together. Turns out I was right! He's a major man's man now-a-days. At least that explains why he was so bad.
I faked them a few times with my last boyfriend, too. He was amazing in bed sober but when he was drunk he was absolutely terrible. Not that he thought so. He would try and try and I would just fake it to get him to stop. Saying "It's just not gonna happen this time, babe," never worked. I have to give him credit for trying, but damn. He just needed to learn when to give up.
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